Forget What You Thought You Knew
by chalantness
Summary: Spoilers for 2x08 "Satisfaction" - Being with him reminds her of when they were younger and everything was so much happier and simpler. She would give anything up for things to be like they used to.


**Title: **_Forget What You Thought You Knew  
_**Rating:** T  
**Word Count:** 1,600+  
**Characters:** Dick/Zatanna with Kaldur/Raquel  
**Summary:** (Spoilers for 2x08 "Satisfaction") Being with him reminds her of when they were younger and everything was so much happier and simpler. She would give anything up for things to be like they used to.

**Note:** I JUST HAD TOO MANY KALDUR/RAQUEL FEELS, so I channeled it through our beautiful Chalant because it's like my personal mission to make everything Chalant-related AND BECAUSE I JUST REALLY NEED DICK AND ZATANNA TO GET BACK TOGETHER AND BE ENDGAME. Okay. I've gotten that out of my system for now.

**Forget What You Thought You Knew**

She thinks it's a force of habit, her coming to his apartment in this depressing city. She never plans on staying for too long, but she does have clothes and stuff here and it sort of just ends up that way, because they talk until they're both exhausted and she falls asleep and ends up spending the night.

She lets herself in and isn't surprised that he's not home yet.

He stays at the Cave or the Watchtower later and later now that almost half of the League is in deep space. Rarely is he already home before she is. She asked him once if he minded that she's here so often, considering that they're not even… that they're _whatever_ they are right now.

He'd laughed and told her she was crazy for thinking he didn't want her around.

So she gets started on dinner, like she always does. She probably knows her way around his kitchen better than her own, and she doesn't really remember the last time she bought groceries for her own apartment.

She thinks it's supposed to mean something, but she's tired of trying to label everything.

Her feelings for Dick aside, she really does love his company, too.

It's not like every time she comes over, she expects something to happen between them. They've had this sort of flirting thing since they first met, but they're friends, too, and being with him reminds her of when they were younger and everything was so much happier and simpler. She would give anything up for things to be like they used to.

She doesn't even realize that she's crying until a tear drops onto the back of her hand. She just dabs at her wet cheeks with a paper towel and switches on a burner.

... ...

She's grabbing the syrup bottle from the pantry and setting it on the counter when he gets home, except of course she doesn't hear him. He just mutters, "It smells good in here," in this low voice near her ear and suddenly she can feel his chest against her back and his hand barely over the curve of her hip.

"Thanks." She smiles at him over her shoulder. "I made breakfast for dinner."

"My favorite," he says. "Want to eat it here or on the coffee table? If I remember correctly, they're premiering _The Avengers_ on TV tonight."

"Then what are we waiting for?"

He just laughs.

She follows him into his room – walks behind him and checks him out in his suit and pretends that it doesn't mean anything, like she always does. And as soon as she can hear the shower running, she tugs her sweater off and slides her skirt down and pulls on her favorite dark blue slip that she has in his top drawer, which is basically her drawer now.

Then she goes back outside and moves their dinner to the coffee table with the syrup, two wine glasses and the bottle of Dom. Romane Conti 1997 that Bruce gave Dick on his eighteenth birthday even though he's still underage.

She sits cross-legged on the carpet, switches the channel to FX and absently braids her hair as the credits of _Fast Five_ roll.

Dick comes out shortly after _The Avengers_ starts playing, his damp hair perfectly disheveled and falling in his eyes a little more than usual. He claps his hands and then rubs them together as he's sitting down, saying, "Alright, stuffed peanut butter and banana French toast while watching _Avengers_ with my favorite person in the whole world."

She bites her lower lip a little. If they're going to hang out like this, then he really needs to stop saying things like that or she'll forget that they're just friends right now.

"Sounds like an ideal night," she teases, managing to sound normal.

"Oh, it is," he says matter-of-factly, grinning. "Though, your _day_ sounded pretty exciting, too. Dinah told me that you guys had a run-in with Captain Cold."

She laughs.

"What was he trying to do, anyway, rob a bank?" She gives him a look and he makes a face. "He's such a cliché."

"No kidding. And you should've seen the look on his face, too," she giggles, cutting off the corner of her stuffed waffles. "As soon as I cast my spell, he turned around and _all_ of us girls were suited up and ready to go."

Dick smirks. "I wonder how Flash deals with him."

"Those stories are hilarious! He's never told you?" she asks, and Dick shakes his head. "Well, he never told me, either, but he tells Wally and Artemis and Artemis tells… _told_ me," she corrects, clearing her throat a little. On the screen, Scarlett Johansson is taking down three Russians while still handcuffed to a chair. Somehow that reminds her of Artemis.

"'Tanna?" Dick asks softly. She stabs her waffles, swipes them in some more syrup and shoves them into her mouth to keep from crying. "Come here."

He pulls her against his chest, rubbing his hand over her arm soothingly as she chews. After she swallows, Dick hands her a glass of wine without her having to ask and she drinks a little more than just a sip. There's a lump in her throat, though, and she feels her eyes swell with tears.

"I'm so sorry," Dick murmurs in her ear, and she has no idea why he's apologizing. This isn't his fault; it's Kaldur's.

_Kaldur…_

She pushes herself away from Dick a little. "You know," she says, barely above a whisper, "I almost didn't want to go today."

"Because of Artemis?"

She shakes her head. "Because of Raquel."

His eyebrows are furrowed a little when she looks at him. "Why?"

"I never told you this," she begins, bringing her hand up to wipe some tears away, "but Artemis and I were both a little mad at Raquel when she started dating Noble." His eyebrows rise a little in surprise. "We knew she was still in love with Kaldur. She still is _now_. That's why we were upset with her the night she announced her engagement."

He places a hand over her back, rubbing slowly. "'Tanna, she's allowed to move on."

"I know she is. And believe me. I've always wanted her to." Her voice quivers a little. "But she never did. I can see it in her eyes. Can't you?"

He presses his lips together tightly before exhaling. "Yeah, I can," he admits. "I just didn't want to point it out."

"Exactly," she agrees, "because we love her too much. I don't want to just assume that I know Raquel's feelings better than she does. I'm sure she really could be happy, but honestly? I don't think she truly is. She's still in love with Kaldur, after everything. I'm not even sure if she's aware of it, either."

"I'm sure she is," he says softly. "Raquel isn't oblivious like that."

"Maybe, but if she's trying to block it out, maybe she doesn't know it. I mean, she was _heartbroken_ after Kaldur said Tula was the love of his life instead of her."

He looks at her. "You think she's not aware that she's still in love with Kaldur?" he asks, and she nods. "Are you going to tell her?"

She exhales shallowly. "How can I, when she has a kid and she's getting married and… Whether or not she's truly happy or in denial, how can I just burst her bubble like that? I won't risk dragging an anchor from her past back into the picture if I'm wrong. I… I just couldn't do that to her."

He nods gently and pulls her back into his arms, their dinner and movie long forgotten.

"What are we doing?" she whispers.

"I don't know," he breathes.

"Artemis was upset with me, too, over _this_," she says, reaching up to push her fingers into his hair, "_us_. She would always tell me that it was pointless."

She feels him tense against her, voice tight. "She thought we were pointless?"

"She thought what we were doing was pointless," she corrects, "pretending to not be together."

He meets her eyes. "Do you think that, too?"

"I didn't know what I thought until a few days ago, Dick. But all I know now is that no matter how hard we've tried to keep things platonic between us, it doesn't work." She turns to face him a little more, holding his gaze. "Look how many times we keep coming back like this. I don't want to spend another five years playing this game."

"Me neither," he whispers, and a tear rolls down her cheek as she slides her lips over his, her fingers combing through his damp hair.

This definitely isn't the first time they've kissed since they decided to break up, but this time feels different, like if she doesn't kiss him now she can't ever again. They're gentle kisses, tender yet urgent, with her fingers in his hair and his tracing patterns over her skin.

He lowers her with her back against the carpet and kisses her slowly, his thumb smoothing over the satin material of her slip.

But then he mutters, "Wait," against her lips, ignoring his own words and giving her another slow kiss before pulling away and muttering, "Wait," again.

She furrows her eyebrows. "What's wrong?" His eyes are kind of filled with all of these different emotions right now, but the most apparent – or maybe just most concerning – one she can pick out is guilt. "What's the matter?" she asks.

"I… I need to tell you something."


End file.
